Dirty Dishes

storch-badgeI’m trying out a new writing prompt, from Sinistral Scribblings.  The Master Class takes the first sentence from a book as your first line, unlimited word-count.  This week, the book is Dodie Smith’s “I Capture the Castle“.   Having never read the book or seen the movie, I hold out hope that my version of the story won’t be a complete rip-off (albeit less well-written) of the actual story.  It’s on my to-read list, now, though.

Hearing what I planned to write, Doodle’s first response was that she’d draw me a picture of it.  I think she did a fabulous job of capturing the scene that I had in my mind’s eye.  Not that there’s any nepotism here at Goneforawalk, but have I mentioned that she’s my sister?  And she’s pretty darned good – you should check her out at her blog, or on DeviantART.  She doesn’t post new art nearly often enough, so feel free to head on over and badger her on my behalf.

in case you can't read it, the mug says "Don't Trust Turkeys".

in case you can’t read it, the mug says “Don’t Trust Turkeys”.

I write this sitting in the kitchen sink.

I lost my oar, the heavy teaspoon slipping, slick with soap, from my hands.  I tried to grab for it and nearly tipped my Tupperware.

Bamboo pattern was an excellent choice,  I muse, watching the spoon slowly and majestically settle on the bottom, like the titanic does in remakes of its last hours.  I suppose something with a rubber handle or tiny holes in it would have helped me more in this situation.

Hindsight is 20/20, and I never imagined this when putting things on the gift registry.

Frankly, I can’t see what exactly I ought to have done to avoid this mess entirely.  Not get married.  Apart from that, though, there are too many variables.  Every alternate beginning I run through my head finds me here, leftover stroganoff smeared on my knees, awash in a sea of dishes that are ‘just soaking’.

David.  I want to curse his name – primal scream out all my rage.  I want to throw things at his head.  My loudest holler can’t even fill this sink, though, and I have limited ammunition aboard-ship.

I guess I should consider myself lucky that he didn’t even bother to scrape the stray pasta and bacon into the garbage before flinging my boat into sudsy oblivion– I could be here for a while, and that torso-sized piece of pasta could be the difference between life and death.

I really thought it would be romantic, marrying an inventor.  I pictured a less-platonic Wallace and Gromit thing.  Cute, until you pay more attention and realize that Gromit gets zero recognition for all the crap he has to put up with, all the messes he has to clean up.  And, really, David is definitely the Wallace in this relationship.

His lack of attention to detail doesn’t bode well for a resolution to my current issues.  Neither does his habit of leaving dishes to sit until they become science experiments in their own right.

I hold out hope that he’ll notice I’m gone.  He finally managed to make something work – that proves that he’s at least got brains.

Figures, really.  10 years of marriage, of junk that doesn’t do what it’s meant to do, of him salvaging parts off my dishwasher, blender and hair-dryer, and finally, there’s something to show for it.  Apart from a sink full of dirty dishes, a dearth of smoothies and perpetually frizzy hair, that is.  I loved that dishwasher, dammit.  Most of his inventions go off randomly and unexpectedly, lots of flash and bang with nothing to show for it at the end.  It wasn’t really surprising that a quick trip into the lab to dust elicited a hum and flash from his latest work.

That nauseous dizzy feeling as the sink grew rapidly bigger and closer after I’d filled it was certainly unexpected. Shrunk, daybook and all – dishes still unwashed.  He told me he was working on a solution to our dishwashing problems.

What I really want to know is how a Shrink Ray is going to do that?

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Meetup and Regenerate!

A while back, I read a post by Youdidwhatwithyourweiner  that mentioned meetup.com, and the post mentioned using this website “to find fun activities for you and your dog”.  I have no friends in the city who have dogs, and very few who are as outdoors obsessed as I am, so the idea of using a site to meet friendly people to do some doggy type things with immediately struck my fancy.  I was pretty hopeful that this site would have some things to do in my area, and, wouldn’t you know it, there were!

This is how I ended up driving with Gwynn and Peanut (aka Short Sister) to a doggy daycare on a rainy Saturday afternoon.  It was an Australian Shepherd Bonanza!  And, luckily for us, they consider Aussie mixes like Gwynn to be acceptably Aussie to go to the party.  Surrounded by beautifully coloured Aussies (They all looked like they had just won prizes at a dog-show), he still got plenty of compliments for his rocker hair and general adorableness.  He is good at standing out in a crowd, that’s for sure!

Before this, I had never been to an indoor dog activity center, or doggy daycare, or anything like that.  To be honest, it seems kind of silly… However, given the opportunity to let Gwynn romp around with a room full of dogs, the opportunity for me to socialize with a few people who are clearly as obsessed with their dogs as I am, and given the opportunity to NOT have to go for a long walk in the rain, I was sold on the idea of attending. 

The dogs all look like they're mid-Timelord regeneration... maybe they're regenerating into something better suited to an entirely Aquatic Ontario

Have I mentioned on the blog that Southern Ontario has apparently developed a new season?  It’s Monsoon Season!  We have gotten so much rain that there is a family of ducks living in my neighbour’s pond.  This pond used to be his yard, but the yard is now submerged enough that they are paddling around in the grassy water without their feet on the ground.  Gwynn really really wants to meet them, and I really really plan to continue to crush that dream.

Gwynn had a blast romping with the other dogs, running through the tunnel, jumping through the tube through the wall, and chasing all the rubber toys scattered around. 
I apparently was a failure at photography that day, however.  All my pictures make the dogs look like demons that are regenerating, Dr. Who style.  To give you an idea, I’ve included some of my photos.  I blame the dogs for moving around too much!  Then again, with that kind of excitement, how could you hold still long enough to pose anyways?!

Maybe i'll be a golden-doodle next! I've heard that blondes have more fun...

 

 

demonic eyes and regeneration-energy auras! And a cute little 4-month old puppy who held just still enough to be in focus

After Gwynn had thoroughly tuckered himself out, we made our way back out, through the little doggy boutique, and stopped to pick up a few things.  I was pretty ecstatic to find that they were selling DEXAS popware for pets.  I read a review for it at According To Gus, but our petshop didn’t carry it (yet… I’m going to give them the brand name and suggest it, because it’s super handy!), and I try to avoid excess shopping.  I got a small travel bowl for Gwynn, which will come in handy for my camping plans, as well as being handy for all of our long walks – it looks far classier than the Tupperware container I was using.  I realise that having a bowl like this is entirely unnecessary (The Tupperware was quite effective), but this has a hole in it for attaching it to a carabiner, so that it can be on the outside of my bag.  Valid reason for unnecessary purchase?  Maybe not… but it’s too late now, and it wasn’t too expensive. 

Doggy Cocaine!

We also got a squeaky ball with feet.  This ball is some kind of drug for dogs, and I’ll admit, I had some ball-envy.  It seems like every dog in the creek valley had one last summer, and all of them love it, long after the squeaker has died.  I wanted in on the action!  Also, Gwynn actually chases it, EVERY TIME I throw it.  EVERY TIME.  The only disadvantage is that we had to take it away from him while inside the house, because he was well on his way to prying those feet off entirely.

Training Update: Instead of biking last night, i went to a Dance/Body Sculpt class… which translates to Alex jumps around, trying to copy what the instructor is doing, and tries to not kick anyone while gasping for breath and turning the colour of a tomato… To Music!  I’m hoping that cardio things like this will help me with my cycling, so you’ll be hearing about these as well.  I also went on two 1hr ish walks with the dog in the evening – before- and after- class.