Taking Care of Business!

It’s… about butts…

I assumed everyone was getting this advertising, but apparently it was just me. I blame it on having watched this video. It’s hilarious, and also made me want a better toilet experience. The advertising worked, and I’m the proud owner/installer of a bidet! My business has never before been so fresh and clean outside of shower-hours.

Thankfully the video had already made me interested in the possibility. While I’m definitely susceptible to marketing, I am also extraordinarily resistant to spending money. So the ads for Tushy made me really want to buy a bidet, but my wallet made me research and decide that I didn’t need that bidet, when I could get one that wasn’t shipped across borders, was slightly cheaper, and was more easily returned if there was something wrong with it.

I purchased the BioBidet Dual Nozzles with Self-Clean (and what a sexy name that is). It isn’t quite as aesthetic as the Tushy (which seems to be the only brand of bidet that is aggressively pursuing customers in North America), but it was as easy to set up, and quite a bit cheaper.

Installation

I had a solid metal pipe connector, so I had to buy a second woven metal hose to replace this guy

I watched a lot of videos of random non-plumbers in my review process to confirm that this was, in fact, something I could install myself. I watched A LOT of videos that got everything connected, turned the water on, and found that their bathroom was flooding. Not a one of them, on the first go-around, used the silicone tape that comes included in the packaging.

While I definitely can sit on my high horse, having already known about silicone tape (it seals the joint you’re screwing together, letting you avoid leaks), I do really believe the average non-plumber could install this bidet, or anything equivalent. Just… use the tape.

Of course, when I installed mine, I slowly turned the water back on, holding my breath, and breathing a sigh of relief when the joints all held. Not a drop of water in sight.

Until water started pouring from the inside of the bidet itself. I want to firmly state that this was a MANUFACTURER error, and not an INSTALLER error. My joints were excellent.

~2 weeks later, I got a replacement (and still, due to COVID, have the broken unit in my house to return), and repeated all the steps, with Silicone Tape.

That’s a precautionary towel, and some leak-free connections

Thankfully the second round worked, and I now have the option of spraying water at my derriere from the toilet.

Victory

Review

There is… no good way to talk about bidets with people. That’s why I’m telling the internet, since it feels more natural to the flow of conversation than randomly during a work meeting.

It’s nice. I like it a lot. Five Stars. I bet the ones with the air dryer and the heated water would be even nicer. New longterm goals in my house include adding an outlet next to my toilet.

I do recommend the model I bought, despite the fact that the first one was broken. One of the videos I watched had something similar happen to the more expensive Tushy model, I think it’s just part of buying things – sometimes you get a bad egg, and there’s a bunch of water pressure running through it. There are tons of different brands and models, at a pretty broad price range, even before you get into the really fancy Japanese toilets. Some things to consider:

  • dual nozzles vs single nozzle – I switch between bum and… front cleaning, and I like that. Both are good. You could probably make the single nozzles accomplish what you want, and some of them can be moved.
  • this type of bidet doesn’t require you to have an electrical outlet right next to your toilet… which is not a thing that we typically have in North America. The other type looks very nice, though I’d assume slightly more complex to install.
  • Aesthetically, it blends pretty well.
  • this project would probably be beginner-intermediate (see below for more detail on that)
  • Young kids – I feel like you wouldn’t want to install it on a toilet your young kids use/have access to? On the one hand, their butts are tiny, and I don’t think they could comfortably use the bidet. And on the other hand, the knobs are at small child height, and when a bum isn’t in the way of the stream, turning it on shoots a fountain of water out of your toilet and into your bathroom. I’m not a small child, and that is tempting to me.
  • Your bum does get wet – I have taken to having a wash-towel handy to dry things out (and avoid using extra toilet paper for drying), and am coming up with a system for a theoretical future in which other people come to my house and want to use the bidet. Which I will try my best to not creepily point out when they come in.
  • don’t go straight to the highest level.

Brass Tacks

Price – my model was about $90 CAD. There were others that were cheaper, and others that were quite a bit more pricy. The extra hose also varies in price, but you should be able to pick one up from a hardware store for under $20.

Skill level – Beginner-intermediate – this is a project that requires you to have at minimum an adjustable wrench and pliers (or two adjustable wrenches or two sets of pliers), because it’s likely that none of the moving parts in your toilet plumbing have been moved for a long time. That’s the intermediate element, because I do realize that lots of people don’t own their own tools. Lots of people also didn’t get an actual adult-sized tool kit of their own for their 8th birthday. Working with plumbing is definitely very intimidating, but the majority of the people I watched on youtube doing this install were beginners, and they all got it done. Watch some videos, follow the instructions carefully, and you can 100% install a bidet.

Environmental impact – On the one hand, the model I purchased came from in-country, and on the other hand I can guarantee it was manufactured elsewhere. the Biobidet also came with everything wrapped in little plastic bags, which I was NOT a fan of. One thing I did really like about the Tushy brand is that all of their packaging is recycled paper.

Links?! NO! I am not 100% on board with a specific brand, and different things are available in different countries/areas. At the end of the day I didn’t buy the highest rated system, nor did I buy the most internet-advertised. It came down to finding something that had good reviews that was available to me.

Bi-do-et, or Bi-don’t? TMI?