Rain


Not gonna lie, this prompt response is 412 words.  But, people, it’s nanowrimo, and every extra word counts.  I’ve got no time, no words, no ideas, and definitely not enough freaking words.  See for yourself – if you want to be my friend on Nano, find me under ‘lexy0387’ in the Toronto nanosphere.  I know, it’s sad.  Every word is being dragged out of me with the sam amount of effort and pain as an adult tooth.  And, when my dentist pulled a front tooth painfully and without enough freezing, from my mouth, he was horrified.  “Oh… yeah, that would have still hurt – wow, you’ve got long roots!”.  Thanks, doc (dent?), thanks a whole lot.  If I ever need another tooth removed, I’ll remind you to seriously seriously pay attention when I ask for that fourth shot of freezing, because apparently my roots are about this close to coming out the bottom side of my jaw.  Like an alien from Doctor Who.

I had this brilliant idea… it was all planned out in my head.  There were scenes in which my MC, much as I like her, would not be happy.  She would, in fact, experience the full range of human emotions, and encounter difficulties, people she liked, disliked, loved, hated.  It was all there, and I kept holding back writing anything of it, because, you know… not november.  And now, where is it?  I’ve got nothing.  it’s sad.  This weekend might just see me begging family members to take the dog on various lengths of walk, so that I can sit at the computer without him yipping his loneliness at me, and actually… write.

I’m starting to feel like Hook.  Can anyone else hear that dreadful tic-tic-ticking?

For now, though, shockingly, the cringe-worthy first scene in what I’ve written so far actually quite suits the Red Writing Hood prompt over at Write on Edge.

This week, use rain as the inspiration for your fiction or creative non-fiction piece. The word limit is 400, so please come back this Friday and show us what you’ve written.

Write On Edge: Red-Writing-Hood
Follow the links to check out what others have written.  If you’re doing Nano, good luck, and I hope you’re doing better than I am.  If you aren’t… well… then you just won’t understand why my posting is going to continue being so severely limited for the remainder of the month.

Interesting artwork from talented artist?  Hah, no.  How about more hours in the day?  But here’s a picture of my puppy.  Note that he’s not sleeping.  No… that would be ridiculous.  He’s watching me type my nanovel… keeping an eye on me to ensure I don’t do anything silly like try to leave the room without his noticing.

Lily stared grimly ahead, struggling to keep calm.

Of course they’d be here.  They paid for it.

She shivered as the steady drizzle of rain seeped ice into her bones, stabbing through her heart as her brother’s coffin was lowered into the ground.  She wondered if any of the strangers who had shown up for his funeral actually cared that he was dead.  That woman, his boss, certainly showed no signs of sadness.  Lily glared at the couture-bedecked woman seated across the grave, some minion holding an umbrella over her head.  Perfectly made-up hazel eyes lifted to meet red-rimmed and swollen.  Lily refused to look away, refused to be apologetic for being caught glaring.

The woman’s lips twitched near a smile, and she nodded acknowledgement to Lily before turning to speak to the man seated beside her.  He nodded and rose.

A few moments later, the rain transferred its sodden fury to an umbrella.  Lily tensed, trying to focus her whole attention on the priest’s words, trying to ignore the presence at her back.

Her nephew had other ideas, twisting around to smile toothily.  “Hey, Remy,” he stage whispered, his childish enthusiasm giving it greater volume.

“Hey kiddo,” Remy crouched down slightly, still holding the umbrella high enough to protect all three of them.  More than a hint of a smile played across her brother’s ex-employer’s face this time.

Lily hated the easy way Matthew let go of her hand to grab hold of Remy.

He’s been Jake’s best friend for years.  Of course Matty likes him.  He’s a familiar face.  She tried to focus on the fact that, without Jake around, she wouldn’t have to deal with these people much longer.  Just get through today.

She flinched away when Remy leaned in, his warm breath against her neck.  “I’m going to take Matty for a walk.  He doesn’t need to hear all this crap.”  Faintly, Lily saw the sharp jerk of Remy’s head towards the priest.

Lily hadn’t even been paying much attention to the man, but Remy was right.  Ramblings about how God felt it was her brother’s time to go, that God was taking him into his arms, blah, blah, blah, how trite.  How completely meaningless to a boy who just lost his father.  She nodded her consent.

Remy tried to hand her the umbrella, but she shook her head, no.  She had cried enough over the past few days – the rain could do her crying for her.

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22 Comments

  1. Lance

     /  November 16, 2012

    Great last line! As usual, your prose is steady and straight-forward. I’ve ben lurking here for a while. I should comment more.

    Good luck with Nanowrimo.

    • Thanks! And I lurk plenty on your site too… the fact that you read is enough, but comments are always welcome!

  2. I think I picture every funeral being held in the rain. Just like this. The iciness between Lily and the ex-boss is palatable. Well done. Visiting from WOE.

    • I’ve been to some funerals in beautiful spring weather… it really isn’t the same – like the weather is mocking your unhappiness. thanks for dropping in!

  3. I applaud anyone who even attempts NaNo. I think you very brave for starting out and keeping at it. It’s writing for writing’s sake as it’s very best. Fiction-writing isn’t my thing but I’ve participated in NaBlo every year for the last three years and hammering out a blog post every single day for 30 days is hard enough!

    Good luck to you! Gwynn looks comfortable at the very least, even if he is just faking.

    • Nano this year was tough… too much other stuff going on. There’ll be a post on it shortly, but my towel is officially thrown in. Next year, maybe I’ll merge NaBlo and Nano to keep me motivated, and keep my blog from being the giant tundra of nothingness that it has become this month!

  4. There is a good story here. Is there more somewhere? You capture the child just right.

    • There is, but most of the story is in my head. It’s just got to go onto paper. Thanks 🙂

  5. jwilliams057

     /  November 16, 2012

    Sunny funerals seem so wrong. Like mother nature is laughing at your pain. Loved the setting you had for this. Great job.

  6. This character Lily is intriguing to me. Distrustful. Cynical. And yet likeable. Love the last line.

    Stopping by from Write on Edge.

    • Excellent – that’s definitely what i was aiming for with her. thanks for dropping in 🙂

  7. love the last line, brilliant!! GREAT story!

  8. Loved this line: “the rain could do her crying for her.” So poignant! And I could feel the sadness and pain of the funeral, good writing.

  9. Interesting. That is a somewhat cynical take on a funeral. I guess that is what you were going for? I do like the last line and of course the doggie picture!

    • Once I’ve got some more pieces of this story, the cynicism of it will make a bit more sense. I wanted it to kind of introduce the dynamic between some of the characters, rather than focusing entirely on the grief they share (despite what the MC thinks) over the death of a loved one.

  10. Interesting, nicely written. I’ve never heard of nanowrimo.

    At least your puppy’s too big to sit behind you – Roly is desperately trying to steal my chair as I type.

    • Hah! I want so much to see pictures of this! and no, he has to try to oust me from my typing less obviously 😛
      it’s a bit late this year, but you should check it out next year Nanowrimo – write 50000 words in the month of november. There are evens in most areas, as well, both writing and social throughout the month of november.

  11. There’s a lot simmering under the surface of this. I’m still stuck on her internal monologue line. They’re paying for it. So ominous, and then the unspoken interplay going on between everyone – really interesting dynamics.

    • Thanks. I was definitely using the funeral to setup a few characters and their relationships, I’m glad it came through.

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