Not Quite There Yet

I got a lot of flack about my post last week in which I bitched about having to jump through non-exercise-type-hoops before getting to actually do exercise at a fitness facility.  Or, well… one flack.  Is that considered flack?  Maybe.  Regardless, I’m pretty sure it’s the angriest comment I’ve gotten, and it was for a post in which I used Zumba as a verb.  I thought people who exercise a lot (and for a living!) would be happier.  And possibly better able to see that there was humor in them there complaints.

There were some valid points, though, including ‘why wouldn’t you want to be more informed about your health and well-being?’

Wait, you're also a chiropractor? Wow.

On the one hand, the meeting had some useful aspects.  On the other hand, I still don’t know what a chiropractor does, apart from walk around looking exactly like Uncle Jesse from Full House.  I think he might be trying to sell me orthopedic inserts, which would be fine (since my feet, as my orthopedic doctor has told me, are like jelly-fish, and roll in a bit), but I already have an orthopedic doctor, and orthopedic inserts, so I’m all set.

As I suspected, I got asked a lot of questions to which I could respond ‘no’.  Do I have diabetes, heart problems, pain in my back, arms, legs, knees or anywhere else, migraines, headaches, asthma? No.  Strangely, they didn’t ask about if any of that was in my family history, so I did actually expand on the ‘no’, making it a ‘No, but there’s a history of that in my family’, though they didn’t show any interest in that information.

I got measured.  Just to dip your toes in the information-about-my-body-in-numbers game, my neck is 12 inches in circumference.  I am pretty comfortable about how I look – hearing the number that is assigned to my thigh, bum, waist, and calf, as well as the percentage of my body that is fat (and then compared to the percentage that it should be)… it’s a downer.  I’m pretty sure its sole purpose is to convince you that you’re in dire need of full-time personal-training.  Luckily for me, my pragmatic gym-buddy reminded me that they are, in fact, really trying to sell you something, so I got out of that funk quickly.

They then actually allowed me to exercise.  Shocker, I know.

I biked for the purpose of measuring my oxygen-intake during exercise.  Apparently, despite being a much higher percentage body fat than I ought to be in their opinion, I do quite well at biking at their very low pace without actually requiring a lot of extra breathing.

I did chin-ups on a fancy machine, pushups of the girly variety, and sit-ups suspended upside down like a bat.  I really need to work on my upper body strength more.

I did plank position.  Another aspect of strength training I ought to work on.

So that was useful, can I go to classes now?

Well, no.  Not without first participating in my free personal-training.  That was scheduled for Sunday, and went pretty well.  It was useful in that I actually got exercise, and that she explained the use of a large number of weight-machines.

Then they tried to convince me to sign up for a ton of personal training sessions that would get partly charged through my health insurance plan.  I declined, what with still not being willing to give them my credit card information, and what with really just wanting to go to a few classes.

Good news, though – I can now participate in actual classes at the gym!  Huzzah!  Have I mentioned that they have bellydance classes?  I’ll be jingling all the way past the front desk, finally!

What do you mean, "no costume required"? This definitely makes the workout target more muscles and... stuff. You can't stop the beat! Or the jingle!

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  1. A Chiropractor fixes your back. According to Mom, A chiropractor fixes your back only so much that you will come back again to continue to get your back fixed 😛
    To the people/Person who give/gave you flack about not wanting to jump through the hoops… Well, you know how sometimes you go to a store, find something you want to buy, and when you get to the front the cashier keeps asking you questions that you just want to say “No, nonononononononono, I just want to buy the shirt. That’s ALL” but they keep asking you if you want a monthly membership with this so and so thing that means that you can to this and that and that other thing if you would just buy so and so much more every time you come to this store and blah blah blah? It’s their job, yes, i know that, you know that, but do you want to jump through all these hoops to buy this shirt? And spend a lot more than you were intending to for something you aren’t even sure you’re going to continue? Oh, and they also REQUIRE Your phone number and e-mail. They won’t contact you, they just need it. (They’re going to contact you btw)
    You go to a gym and want to work out, not buy a sh!t load more things when you just want to Zumba.
    There’s my rant back to you 😀
    Stay Strong Lexy! (Seriously, work on that strength training eh? :P)

    • hah, well, I guess he didn’t try to fix my back because I don’t really have any issues at the moment. Your analogy is dead-on, though! I went there with a simple plan – take some classes – and by the time I actually get to do that, I’ve spent far more time at the gym than I intended, and would really rather just… not.

  2. #1) Personally, I swear by chriopractic care. Especially, if you’ve had an accident and your neck muscles have tensed up over the years and the only person that helped reset things and get those muscles to relax…my first chriopractor appointment. There, he noticed my legs- one was a tad longer than the other…and realized my left hip was out of socket. I remember when that happened. I was jogging, went to put my leg up on the gym stretch bar and I heard a loud POP. After that, running and dancing and long walks, the following day I could barely walk. Years (I mean Years) later, the chiropractor discovered it (after going for some unrelated thing) and realigned…it took a period of a few months to restrenthen the area so my hip would stay in the proper place. Now, I just go every once in a great while, like if I wake with a really stiff neck and can’t turn my head, which means no driving!

    #2) Now- the photo of John Stamos. He grew up in the same area as my hubby. Bill used to work at a pizza joint, that he frequented because one of Bill’s co-worker/friends was buddies with him. Of course, I had to inquire:

    “Is he as good looking in real life?” He said yes, that he made the rest of the guys in the room feel pretty pathetic in comparsion! Ha!

    Lake Forest, CA USA

    • It sounds like it’s a good idea for them to have a chiropractor on staff – could really help – but at the same time, I still don’t think it’s necessary to require everyone to go visit him. Even if he does look like John Stamos 😛

      That’s such a cool ‘degrees of separation’ thing, your hubbie knowing John Stamos! Though it’s kind of nice to believe the celebrities don’t look nearly as good without the makeup and post-production touch-ups (as in, “I could look like that, if I had an army of stylists, colorists, and personal shoppers at my disposal!”, hah), so knowing he really is that good looking is both good and bad.

  3. Well first I had to go back and read that NASTY comment. I was pissed. How dare that person (notice there was no link to their website and they didn’t have a profile!) rip you up like that. Obviously (as you stated in your reply) they don’t read your blog enough to make an assumption of that nature.

    I think you handled it quite tactfully as I would have probably said, Piss Off. But then again I probably wouldn’t have, I would have done what you did and try to educate them.

    The funniest thing was the moniker they used “Educate yourself” seems like they could take their own advice.

    • (S)he makes a valid point about jumping right into a fitness regime… just not about me in particular. It would be a considerably more valid point if the main goal of the people at the gym hadn’t been to try and force me to sign up for extra things (with extra costs attached), rather than to actually educate me.

  4. Ooooo I want angry comments. How did you manage to that?…lol. I went back and read it too. If that other commenter was so “informed” they would know that the clubs use those personal evaluations to try to sell you personal training lessons. Luckily you were on to them. 😉

    Don’t most people consult their doctor’s before starting a fitness regime? Maybe requiring a doctor’s note would be appropriate. How can a personal trainer with dubious medical knowledge be qualified to know if you have underlying health issues?

    • I was kind of surprised to get an angry comment based on that particular post – not exactly a serious topic, or a serious take on the topic. I wasn’t trying to insult the profession of personal training, either (especially since a good friend was really helped in getting fit by enlisting one), but the burocracy of just trying to start attending actual gym-activities. You could always try throwing some ‘yo mama’ jokes in, see if that elicits any negative commenting. Then again, with all the Freighter pics in there, you could probably encourage anorexia, and still get comments along the lines of, “Awww, the puppy, so cute!” 🙂

  5. Haha. That angry comment gave me a chuckle. You know the very best arguments always start with an absolute: e.g., “I’ve worked out ALL MY LIFE”. Must’ve been one buff toddler. Though I should probably hold my tongue. People do that. It is terrifying.

    • CREEPY creepy body builder children. That kid at least looks normal, but I remember a few years ago seeing this tiny Arnold-looking kid… probably 5 or 6 by this point, and he looked like he was wearing one of those suerhero-padded haloween costumes, only without it being made of foam. The parents of bodybuilding children, and the parents of the toddlers in tiaras… how the hell is it allowed for them to reproduce?!

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