Babies aren’t Puppies!


In my previous post, I mentioned that I do all my Christmas shopping online or months and months and MONTHS in advance of the holiday season.  Yeah, I’m done my Christmas shopping, and have been since mid-November.  You hate me, I’m ok with that.

How is it, though, that despite the fact that I’m done, I still found myself at the mall on December 21st?

I was doing good… in a kind of procrastinate-ey way.  I was supporting the Toy Mountain campaign, and buying a gift for an infant.  Last year, I had to buy something for a 13 year old girl… it was complicated!  I was a weird 13 year old, but I’m still sure that their suggestion of a dolly (seriously, ‘a dolly’) would be the most disappointing gift a 13 year old girl could receive.  This year, when I had the option of choosing my age-group, I jumped at the chance for getting a ‘newborn’ tag.

It’s a baby – how hard could it be?

In the jumbled chaos of the mall a few short days before Christmas?  Kind of difficult.

When someone decided they should grab most of the dog-toy stock and scatter it around the kids’ toys shelves?  And I really don’t know much about babies?  Really HARD!

Doodle and I spent a good 40 minutes in the store, sorting through things, trying to find items with labels identifying them as ‘0+ months’, while playing the “is it a dog toy?” game if it doesn’t have an age-label.

“Awww, so cute – a plushy floppy rabbit!  Let’s get this for the baby!”

*Squeeeeeeeeeeek*

“I thought babies liked things that rattled? Not squeaked?” checks tag.  “It’s a dog toy.”

you saw the episode where he clicker-trained the toddler, right?

This was repeated over and over and over again.  Doodle is particularly good at finding cute dog toys hidden amongst the pillow-pets (seriously, it’s a thing… talk about making stuffies utilitarian!), purse-teddies (think, empty teddy bear with purse-strap dressed in drag) and occasional regular stuffed animals.

Babies and dogs – they both put their toys in their mouths.  They both drool.  They both like random noises in toys.  No-one wants a dog toy as a gift for their baby.  It’s the same reasoning for why you shouldn’t clicker-train your neighbour’s kid.

A nice woman at the store gave us suggestions for baby toys:  “Colourful, short fur or no fur, and rattles.  They like rattles.”

I found some toys that fit that description.

Oh good! I was wondering why I hadn't gotten any gifts today. What do you mean, those aren't for me?

Gwynn likes them too.  He was kind of disappointed that I wasn’t sharing them with him (at all… he didn’t get to touch them, I swear).  I’m pretty sure that Christmas gifts shouldn’t come with the note please wash thoroughly before giving to baby.

I’m also pretty sure that when future-me has a baby, the dog will be more than happy to teach his new furless sibling how to shake-kill the squeaky toys Doodle will get for the baby.

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9 Comments

  1. Really what’s wrong with clicker training your neighbor’s kid? I crate trained my grandson. 🙂

    Merry Christmas to you and Gwynn!

    • 😀 does that mean he only pees in one part of the yard, too? or was this crate-training + ‘how i trained my cat to use the toilet’ = grandson out of diapers very early? 🙂
      Merry Christmas!

  2. You are a very wise dog-lover! Shopping early is sheer genius! And online?
    Way to avoid the crowds!

  3. Now that you mention it, some dog and baby toys do look the same. 😆

    Merry Christmas to you!

    • true… I had a hard time picking out which of the toys were for babies 😛 The dog toys squeak (aka dying animal noise), the baby toys rattle… i’m not sure what they’re supposed to represent for babies, apart from a noise.

  4. They’d be the gift that keeps on giving… once the baby gets tired of it, give it to the dog(s) 😀
    Don’t deny that your hypothetical future baby would LOVE all teh great stuffed animals that make extra fun noises when you squeeze them the right way…
    And as I’ve mentioned to you… It’s a great way to teach your kid teh perks of sharing 😀

    • lol… yeah, but i’m pretty sure that having the dog and the baby share things is a bit unsanitary.

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