In my previous post, I mentioned that I do all my Christmas shopping online or months and months and MONTHS in advance of the holiday season. Yeah, I’m done my Christmas shopping, and have been since mid-November. You hate me, I’m ok with that.
How is it, though, that despite the fact that I’m done, I still found myself at the mall on December 21st?
I was doing good… in a kind of procrastinate-ey way. I was supporting the Toy Mountain campaign, and buying a gift for an infant. Last year, I had to buy something for a 13 year old girl… it was complicated! I was a weird 13 year old, but I’m still sure that their suggestion of a dolly (seriously, ‘a dolly’) would be the most disappointing gift a 13 year old girl could receive. This year, when I had the option of choosing my age-group, I jumped at the chance for getting a ‘newborn’ tag.
It’s a baby – how hard could it be?
In the jumbled chaos of the mall a few short days before Christmas? Kind of difficult.
When someone decided they should grab most of the dog-toy stock and scatter it around the kids’ toys shelves? And I really don’t know much about babies? Really HARD!
Doodle and I spent a good 40 minutes in the store, sorting through things, trying to find items with labels identifying them as ‘0+ months’, while playing the “is it a dog toy?” game if it doesn’t have an age-label.
“Awww, so cute – a plushy floppy rabbit! Let’s get this for the baby!”
“I thought babies liked things that rattled? Not squeaked?” checks tag. “It’s a dog toy.”
This was repeated over and over and over again. Doodle is particularly good at finding cute dog toys hidden amongst the pillow-pets (seriously, it’s a thing… talk about making stuffies utilitarian!), purse-teddies (think, empty teddy bear with purse-strap dressed in drag) and occasional regular stuffed animals.
Babies and dogs – they both put their toys in their mouths. They both drool. They both like random noises in toys. No-one wants a dog toy as a gift for their baby. It’s the same reasoning for why you shouldn’t clicker-train your neighbour’s kid.
I found some toys that fit that description.
Gwynn likes them too. He was kind of disappointed that I wasn’t sharing them with him (at all… he didn’t get to touch them, I swear). I’m pretty sure that Christmas gifts shouldn’t come with the note please wash thoroughly before giving to baby.
I’m also pretty sure that when future-me has a baby, the dog will be more than happy to teach his new furless sibling how to shake-kill the squeaky toys Doodle will get for the baby.