Pretty Bad Axe


Dear Santa,

I’ve been a very good girl this year, and I would like you to bring me

A bow and arrows

Some Sheep (that’s for Gwynn.  He is a very good boy.)

A hatchet

A helmet with horns on

A bear-skin cloak

Thanks,

Lexy (aka one Bad-Axe Trucker Barbarian Lass)

ps, I promise I won’t let my barbarian horde pillage the North Pole.  Especially since next year, I’ll be asking for a boat with a dragon-head on it, so I’ll want your workshop to not be burned to the ground.

Apparently all my recent activity is leading to one clear objective – to join the barbarian horde.  Or so my sister seems to think.  She might just be jealous that all this stuff is happening oh-so far from Ottawa.

Bad Axe, right?

The most recent of these barbarian-in-training activities was Axe Throwing.  Let me just say – in terms of ‘sports to throw your rage into’, I’d say this is a winner.  There is nothing as satisfying as hurtling an axe into a solid plank of wood, with a mental image of that person you don’t like firmly fixed in your mind.

Nothing.

And, if it sticks in the wood, or actually sticks in the bulls-eye, well… that just makes it more awesomely satisfying.

... so much more cool looking than how I had to throw in order to achieve contact...

I started off surprisingly well.  Maybe my Scandinavian ancestors weren’t the simple reindeer farmers (seriously… farmers of reindeer) my mom claims they were, hmmm?  Axe-throwing might well be in my genes.  Apart from not mastering (at all) the one-handed throw, I was getting pretty good at the two-handed throw.  It was hitting (and sticking!) often, and I got the bulls-eye three times.

ready... aim... AXE

And then, for whatever reason (possibly axe throwing being harder on your arms than you might realise), I was a fail.  The axe stuck maybe even twice in the last… 30ish throws I did.  However, despite the stick-fail I was experiencing, it still consistently hit near the centre of the target a lot.  I figure, even if the axe doesn’t stick, I could still (theoretically, for the purposes of my theoretical barbarian future career) bludgeon someone to death with a series of ‘fail’ throws.

I just want you to know... even if it doesn't always stick in the target... it dents the wood. threatening? nooo... more like... warning...

I can’t honestly judge how tough it is on your muscles on my day-after, since I woke up practically on death’s door with illness on Sunday morning.  My everything hurt like a sandpaper bodysuit, and would have, regardless of axe throwing.  I can say, though, that Axe Throwing requires a lot more than just your arms – it’s kind of a whole-body throw.  I’m pretty sure my arms/shoulders felt it.

For those of you who are interested (and in the GTA), you can rent their facility (plus employees who teach you the art of axe throwing) for your group event at BATL, or join their league and attend league nights.  They’re located in Toronto, in the Junction, very close to Bloor and Lansdowne.

If you see an axe-throwing thing in your area, I recommend trying it out!  You can be part of my horde!

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9 Comments

  1. Was it your cubby neighbor’s face you were throwing at? You can tell, I won’t say a word. 🙂

    • yup, he was definitely on my mind, briefly, while I was axe throwing. And then the axe embedded itself in the face… i mean… bulls-eye… and I felt so much better 😛

  2. Up until now, you seemed very nice. Now you seem terrifying. If the axes were made of NERF, that would be more my speed.

    Apparently, I’m a big weenie who’s afraid of girls that throw sharp objects.

    • NERF wouldn’t be nearly as fun to throw – too light, and entirely unlikely to stick in the target. Not to mention, lacking that certain something… the venting-anger factor, maybe.
      Don’t be afraid of all girls who throw sharp objects… be afraid of the ones aiming at you! Hopefully that number is relatively low, and they all have poor aim 😉

  3. You bad, you bad, girl! 🙂

    Looks like fun!

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