A Christmas Memory


We aren’t sure when she found out – I know that, after having had it ruined for me at a young age by my older cousin, I wasn’t the one to tell her.  It’s a kind of devastating truth, if it comes too soon.  I might not like my sisters all the time, but I love them enough to be unwilling to smash those rose (and green) coloured glasses.

I blame Sergei.  The number of times she came home upset about something that Sergei did, throughout the years, I can imagine that this little boy I never met was probably to blame.  I’m pretty sure he was in her classes around the time she lost the faith.  Or at least, around the time we figured out that she had lost it.

Regardless of when it happened, the more important part is what her reaction to it was.  It seemed like she genuinely believed she was saving Christmas for us by maintaining the charade.  Like, since she was the youngest child, and the last to still believe, that she was the only one standing between us and a desolate, tree-less, cookie-less, present-less December, hardly more exciting than any other soggy, slushy winter month.  I think she thought the rest of us only participated in the big day as a way of helping to maintain her childhood innocence, and that, once she had lost that, we’d move on to other things.  Less present-filled things.

ma-king christmas, ma-king christmas, Making CHRISSSSTMASSS

She became the defender of Christmas.  She was so over-the-top super-duper excited about it.  She talked about Santa like she was being sent secret messages on a nightly basis.  She squealed with excitement – the same squeal me-at-10(or 24…) would emit if I found a horse with a bow on it in our back yard – when she saw Santa from the Santa-picture-line.

She brought holiday spirit like a cheerleader strung out on tinsel and candy canes.  What do we love? CHRISTMAS!  When do we love it? ALWAYS and FOREVER!

She didn’t just like the season, she bowled through the festivities with enough intensely ferocious BELIEF that she could have single-handedly won the Leafs the cup.  Mall Santas everywhere were probably waking up a-la-Tim-Allen to find themselves with a full natural white beard and 30 extra pounds of jolly belly.

She decked the halls like Muhammad Ali decked… other boxers…

"Take that, disbelief!"

She rocked around the Christmas tree like a hurricane.

She was ensuring that Christmas, as we knew it, stayed right where it ought to be.  IN. OUR. HEARTS. DAMMIT!  She was really, really worried she wouldn’t get presents if mom and dad knew that she was no longer a believer in the man in a big red coat.

Much as we found cracked-out-on-Kringle Doodle to be entertaining, we found it alarming enough that we did our best to convinced her that Christmas wouldn’t end (and, more importantly, the presents would keep coming) just because she knew the big secret about Santa.  As long as, of course, she didn’t share this knowledge with ANYONE.

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10 Comments

  1. Are you seriously telling me there is no Santa?

    I don’t believe it, not for a minute!! Santa IS the SPIRIT of Christmas and lives in every heart that believes.

    Pooh on you naysayer. 🙂

    • Of course not – I’m just saying that a person who doesn’t believe still gets presents. Santa doesn’t hate you for your disbelief… he just gives the believers better presents 🙂

      • Nuh-uh. In our house, if you didn’t believe, you got squat. Good for your sister for preserving the mood as long as possible!

        • Well I hope you all kept the xmas-belief going as long as possible, then! I’m pretty sure we still get presents ‘from santa’… but now it doesn’t involve a trip to the hell-hole known as ‘mall in december’ to visit santa and inform him of our wants.

  2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This had me giggling the entire time 😀
    Yes, I remember Sergei well…. well, more in a “I remember, he was such an a$$hole in class >:|” kind of way… I think Mom once scolded me for calling him that once…
    also remember being banned from the livingroom until the presents-opening-time, which I would have been a bit more understanding of if that wasn’t the same room as the tv was in…
    And at that time Mom was still happy to get up at Noon, like she still is 😀
    This was great to read, and while I don’t quite remember being quite that furiously chipper, I do remember getting frustrated with you guys when you weren’t nearly happy enough that it was Christmas.
    My stand on Santa still stands though, as well as the Hogfather.
    MERRY CHRISTMAS NON BELIEVERS!

    • Banishment from the living room is part of the tradition! The tree isn’t just about the tree decorations, it’s about the whole, presents and all!
      And yeah, you were on a whole new level of xmas cheer. If you had been any more excited, you’d have burst open like a pinata and showered us with candy canes, bows and sparkles. You were so forcefully cheerful that you were exhausting yourself with the effort of maintaining cheer at all times. Scary-festive, not ‘happy it’s december, and then close to xmas, and yay, xmas, we love it’ festive.

  3. What do you mean no Santa? I still hear the jingle bells. 😆

    • Is this a reference to the tom Hanks movie with the christmas train? possibly titled ‘the christmas express’, or something like that? 😛
      I love xmas movies, but I rarely remember their official names.

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