My inner magpie has a propensity to be attracted to shiny things. “Shiny” in this case, though, is much closer to the usage in Firefly – neat, cool, awesome. Though the things this magpie is attracted to are often quite shiny (glossy, sparkly, chrome-ey, etc) as well.
She is more like Gollum than like a real magpie. She sits, locked up tight in the bird house in my soul, no light on to reflect on the hoard she lusts over. Sensible-Lexy and the Magpie argue a lot. She (the Magpie) even sounds like Gollum. Creepy…
Upon entering a car dealership (while shopping around for the vehicle type I want to buy used. USED.):
Me: Yup, shiny!
Magpie: Buy it buy it buy it buy it
Me: Which?Magpie: BUY IT! SHINY!
Me: No. Getting a used car, lack funds for a new car.
Magpie: SHINY! Wants it, wahahahants it NOW!
Upon the delivery of Doodles Mac laptop, a requirement for her school program starting in the fall:
Magpie: Wants it!
Me: we have a computer – it is a desktop and entirely functional. Also – we hardly use a quarter of its ability, and prefer to not spend extra time at home on the computer.
Magpie: But it’s so new. So… shiny… So much better, stronger, faster, shinier than the one we have!
Me: We have no use for it, apart from adding one to our hoard… and Macs are Mac-ively expensive. We aren’t getting one.
Magpie: We will register in Doodle’s Art department –need laptop, now!
Me: No. We lack the talent in art to get accepted into the program. We are also finished school.
Magpie: Shiny! MINE! Need laptop for using computer elsewhere than desk!
Me: NO MORE SCHOOL!!!! Back in your house, carrion-bird!
Magpie: … Nasty filthy sisterses gets shiny, no shiny for Magpie, Magpie least favourited of all the sisterses…
That argument doesn’t always include a Mac… it includes whatever laptop is in the flyer, on a friend’s desk, or in a store I’m in… This one was most recent, though, since Doodles new laptop got bought without her presence about two weeks ago. It sits there, mocking me, trying to lure me into its shiny shiny depths. I avoided the room it was in while my mom was putting updates and new programs on, so that I couldn’t look into its hypnotic screen. After all – you don’t know what might be looking back!
During discussion of getting new phones/new phone company when our phone contract expired:
Bad-influence-parent (BIP)– *on the phone with the company that searches for your ideal plan for you, and negotiate with the companies to get a good deal* Well, did you want to get a mart phone? We can get a really good deal.
Me – *drop-kicked by Magpie, disoriented, vision blurred* … ummmm
Magpie – shiny! SHINY!
Hermit in me – People will be able to get in touch with me – all the time!!! NO!
Magpie – fancy, shiny, technology-ey!
Me – GPS? I would have Shiny… I mean… GPS for when I get lost. Or need to … find… shiny… things…
Magpie – my smart phone, my presssssciousssss – you are mine! SHINY!
Me – but I can google and write myself directions before I leave…
Magpie – NOOOoooooo…. But wait… *slyly smiling at me* can you geocache with ‘directions’?
Me – No…. that’s true… I could geocache. Geocaching is cool.
Me – But unnecessary – and I don’t use the computer much at home anyways! Why would I want it everywhere?!
Magpie – pretty, precious, shiny shiny technology, you will be mine!
BIP – Wow, I just found out, we can get a massively impressive deal. Like… basically unlimited Data…
Me – I don’t want an iPhone…
BIP – Samsung Nexus S
Magpie – Touch screen!
BIP – Basically don’t pay for the first 6 months!
Magpie – good camera for taking pictures of the dog! Video!
Magpie – Update blog from anywhere!
Magpie – Face-to-face video calling with Doodle when she’s at university!
Me – SHINYYYYYY!
Magpie – My precioussssss…
I caved. It’s coming today. I’ve been excitedly and fully embracing my inner techno-Magpie for nearly a week, waiting for its arrival. It is shiny and pretty. And probably not at all necessary. This is like switching from rocking-horse to race-horse. And the thing is – I could probably have been completely and entirely functional without the racehorse.
But I can’t stop being excited, I can’t! I hardly ever cave to the Magpie’s wishes regarding the fanciest, best, newest, shiniest technology. I sit on purchases until, most of the time, they don’t happen. Both my mp3 (6 years old) and my camera (4 years old) were Xmas gifts. I don’t do technology purchasing, because it’s hard to tell if it’s just the inner Magpie or a genuine need that calls me to purchase. I blame Doodle’s imminent departure to destinations beyond a 4-hour-drive from me…
How do I turn the lights off on the Magpie filled bird house in my soul? Am I the only one with an inner techno-magpie? How long do you think my inner hermit will stay in the fetal position?
Also, do you think I could get “Birdhouse in your Soul” as my ringtone on my new phone? That’d be shiny!