Today is the last day I can use my Groupon for 20 classes for $20 at Premier Fitness. Yesterday was the last day that I could actually go. We went to Yoga, which was a lot of fun. One thing I like about yoga is that I can actually DO all (or nearly all) the exercises, and am generally not, at any point, confused, baffled, unable to keep up, unable to figure out what we’re doing, unable to hear what the teacher shouted out (was that Jack-Jack! or Jack-Jab, or Jab-Jack?… oh well, they’ve finished doing the exercise and I ended up just doing jacks with a bit of extra flailing in order to accomodate the potential for ‘jab’), narrowly avoiding kicking or hitting someone, or so exhausted that my panting and gasping is causing the elderly (NINJA) woman next to me to look alarmed as she does the toughest version of the activitiy without even the slightest sheen of sweat, and with perfectly coiffed hair. Not only can I DO the exercises, but I can do them (for the most part) WELL. Totally not bragging, I’m just stating FACT… I might not be able to consistently follow a kick-kick-back-kick-side-punchpunch-kick-kick series, but, as stated in my versatile blogger award factoids… I am bendy.
So… what am I doing today that will be so time consuming that I can’t possibly make it out for one last spin-class-in-a-sauna? Golfing… 😐
Having never golfed before, and with a poor track record in mini-putt (I always lose my ball before the half-way mark… baffling, especially if it’s an entirely indoors mini-put), I will attempt to golf with my fellow employees, without doing any of the following:
- losing more than
- letting go of the golf club mid-swing, or at least, letting go of the golf club mid-swing and beaning someone nearby in the head with it.
- Calling the golf club a stick (like I did last night, when explaining my strategy… strategy to follow)
- hitting myself with the club or the ball… so hard that it leaves a bruise
- falling off the golf cart when it’s
standing stillmoving at high-speed and very bouncy and rocky and easy to fall out of.
- explaining the Idiot’s Rogue Lawnmower story to the other people in my team, when I refuse to get off the paved path (um… I just don’t want to… get my… shoes… grassy… yes, that’s far more sane-sounding)
- turning into lobster-me by not re-applying sunscreen every 45 minutes or so. No, it really doesn’t matter if it’s not too warm out, or if it’s a bit cloudy… I will put the sunscreen on anyways, because the burn hurts like the fire of a thousand suns, and red is not my colour.
I’m lucky that we’re doing a best-ball game, which seems to translate to “If Alex only manages to knock the ball off the little knobby thing, but the rest of the group makes it to the different-coloured grass near the flag and hole… then Alex gets to go to the little flag and hole with them.” This sounds good to me 🙂 Also, there’s food at the end, which is an excellent incentive for me.
I was invited to practice a bit at a driving-range, but my attempts to fit in as many fitness classes worked against me actually having time to golf. “Sorry, can’t go pre-golf-golfing, must go be Hi Energy!”
In dog-news… big news! Well… for me, anyways. I’ve finally found a ball that I can use in the chuck-it that he will actually chase… AND BRING BACK! I think he’s finally started to get the idea that ‘fetch’ is a fun game, not just my way of getting myself some exercise (throw the ball, watch as dog stares at it as it falls, then walk to go get the ball). We got those rubber (fuzzy-stuff-free) orange-and-blue balls after he obsessed over a friend’s giant version of that ball for an hour at the park, and it worked! I can finally use the chuck-it my parents picked up as an xmas gift for me/Gwynn. And it is AWESOME! I can nearly throw the entire length between the soccer goalposts at the school near me. And he chases it! And only got distracted twice in about 15 throws last night… now that is success!
My dad did ask why I never use the chuck-it in our yard… the answer: I use it as it’s meant to be, it ends up over the fence, across the side-yard of our back-neighbour, and into the pool on the other side of the road. Or, I try to keep it in the yard, actually hit the dog (I felt terrible for this, but it was when we’d first gotten it, and I really wanted to try it out!) or throw it so that it hits the ground right in front of me. Also, even I, with my lack of throwing ability, can throw the ball from one end to the other of our yard. It usually ends up in a garden or rolling under our porch, but it does go all the way across the yard.
I’ll be heading out very shortly, but I’m sure that tonight I’ll be able to read all sorts of entertaining slightly belated golf tips from you all, hopefully not while sitting in a pool of Aloe Vera while Gwynn basks in the heat radiating from my lobster burn.