Fore Thee Well

Today is the last day I can use my Groupon for 20 classes for $20 at Premier Fitness.  Yesterday was the last day that I could actually go.  We went to Yoga, which was a lot of fun.  One thing I like about yoga is that I can actually DO all (or nearly all) the exercises, and am generally not, at any point, confused, baffled, unable to keep up, unable to figure out what we’re doing, unable to hear what the teacher shouted out (was that Jack-Jack! or Jack-Jab, or Jab-Jack?… oh well, they’ve finished doing the exercise and I ended up just doing jacks with a bit of extra flailing in order to accomodate the potential for ‘jab’), narrowly avoiding kicking or hitting someone, or so exhausted that my panting and gasping is causing the elderly (NINJA) woman next to me to look alarmed as she does the toughest version of the activitiy without even the slightest sheen of sweat, and with perfectly coiffed hair.  Not only can I DO the exercises, but I can do them (for the most part) WELL.  Totally not bragging, I’m just stating FACT… I might not be able to consistently follow a kick-kick-back-kick-side-punchpunch-kick-kick series, but, as stated in my versatile blogger award factoids… I am bendy. 

So… what am I doing today that will be so time consuming that I can’t possibly make it out for one last spin-class-in-a-sauna?  Golfing… 😐

Having never golfed before, and with a poor track record in mini-putt (I always lose my ball before the half-way mark… baffling, especially if it’s an entirely indoors mini-put), I will attempt to golf with my fellow employees, without doing any of the following:

  • losing more than one  two balls
  • letting go of the golf club mid-swing, or at least, letting go of the golf club mid-swing and beaning someone nearby in the head with it.
  • Calling the golf club a stick (like I did last night, when explaining my strategy… strategy to follow)
  • hitting myself with the club or the ball… so hard that it leaves a bruise
  • falling off the golf cart when it’s standing still moving at high-speed and very bouncy and rocky and easy to fall out of.
  • explaining the Idiot’s Rogue Lawnmower story to the other people in my team, when I refuse to get off the paved path (um… I just don’t want to… get my… shoes… grassy… yes, that’s far more sane-sounding)
  • turning into lobster-me by not re-applying sunscreen every 45 minutes or so.  No, it really doesn’t matter if it’s not too warm out, or if it’s a bit cloudy… I will put the sunscreen on anyways, because the burn hurts like the fire of a thousand suns, and red is not my colour.

I’m lucky that we’re doing a best-ball game, which seems to translate to “If Alex only manages to knock the ball off the little knobby thing, but the rest of the group makes it to the different-coloured grass near the flag and hole… then Alex gets to go to the little flag and hole with them.”  This sounds good to me 🙂  Also, there’s food at the end, which is an excellent incentive for me.

I was invited to practice a bit at a driving-range, but my attempts to fit in as many fitness classes worked against me actually having time to golf.  “Sorry, can’t go pre-golf-golfing, must go be Hi Energy!”

 In dog-news… big news!  Well… for me, anyways.  I’ve finally found a ball that I can use in the chuck-it that he will actually chase… AND BRING BACK!  I think he’s finally started to get the idea that ‘fetch’ is a fun game, not just my way of getting myself some exercise (throw the ball, watch as dog stares at it as it falls, then walk to go get the ball).  We got those rubber (fuzzy-stuff-free) orange-and-blue balls after he obsessed over a friend’s giant version of that ball for an hour at the park, and it worked!  I can finally use the chuck-it my parents picked up as an xmas gift for me/Gwynn.  And it is AWESOME!  I can nearly throw the entire length between the soccer goalposts at the school near me.  And he chases it!  And only got distracted twice in about 15 throws last night… now that is success!

My dad did ask why I never use the chuck-it in our yard… the answer:  I use it as it’s meant to be, it ends up over the fence, across the side-yard of our back-neighbour, and into the pool on the other side of the road.  Or, I try to keep it in the yard, actually hit the dog (I felt terrible for this, but it was when we’d first gotten it, and I really wanted to try it out!) or throw it so that it hits the ground right in front of me.  Also, even I, with my lack of throwing ability, can throw the ball from one end to the other of our yard.  It usually ends up in a garden or rolling under our porch, but it does go all the way across the yard. 

 I’ll be heading out very shortly, but I’m sure that tonight I’ll be able to read all sorts of entertaining slightly belated golf tips from you all, hopefully not while sitting in a pool of Aloe Vera while Gwynn basks in the heat radiating from my lobster burn.



  1. That was cleverly written and entertaining to read.
    I’m not supposed to be on the blogosphere this week, as darn if I don’t have responsibilities I must tend to…but your post was the most recent in my e-mail box and I found myself reading it anyway. No one in my house caught me! 🙂

    On that note, gotta run and make sure the kids are getting their breakfast done to get to school on time.

    Don’t forget your SPF! Even late in the day (after 3pm) with clouds, I was sunburned more than I thought possible the other day. I wonder if it has anything with the Ozone layer depleting.

    Oh, and Being “bendy” might help with golf swings, right…or at least help with bending down to pick up the ball, looking in bushes for it, digging it out of sand pits and any other place the ball could end up…hopefully not up any trees or rooves of buildings.

    Lake Forest, CA USA

    • haha… yeah, I definitely did more searching for a golf ball than I had suspected was involved in the game! I incorrectly assumed that three balls would definitely get me through a full 18 hole round of golf.
      hope you get all your non-bloggy things done soon, so we can start hearing more from you again!

  2. I love your sense of humour, you had me rolling on the floor with this one. Yoga and golfing? Very interesting association there, but why not?
    Glad to hear that your ‘fetch’ sessions are successful…any chance for some photos? Maybe a video?

    P.S. Better in the pool over the road than hitting the dog! 😛

    • luckily I was a very definite fail at throwing with the chuck-it when I hit Gwynn… he looked mildly offended, and then chewed the ball and left it on the other side fo the yard from me, as if to say, “if you can’t play nice, you can’t play with the ball!”

  3. Cannot wait to hear how the golfing went. 🙂 I have never golfed myself (only the mini-golf kind) but it doesn’t seem like my kind of sport.

    So Gwynn finally decided to fetch! I remember how excited I was when we found out Delilah will fetch sticks! Yeah Gwynn!!

    • I’ll write more on the golfing later, but I don’t see it as my future passion in sporting either…
      I’m definitely excited that Gwynn’s finally figured out that it’s a game for him, not just me throwing a ball for myself 😛

  4. Thank you for finding us in the blogosphere! Always a pleasure meeting fellow dog-obsessed bloggers (I’m speaking mainly for myself, here).

    I’m a HUGE fan of yoga! Nice to hear that you’ve taken an interest in it, too. I would love to practice yoga regularly, if only my time can permit it. My husband is a recreational golfer and has been trying for the longest time to convince to learn. Unfortunately, I have absolutely no hand-eye co-ordination whatsoever! I usually end up digging a huge patch of grass and dirt off the golf course…

    We’re also trying to teach Maple the concept of “fetch”. She’s really good at retrieving the tossed item, but will only come to us with the item on her own terms. Would love to hear more about this chuck-it toy that you’ve mentioned. Is there a name/brand for it?

  5. The first (and LAST) time I saw a golf course ended in pain and agony. I was fine, thought I did quite well actually, but apparently my rogue clubs and balls were enough to ruin everyone else’s day on the green 🙂

    • haha. One girl on the course on friday threw her club accidentally into the pond, mid-swing. That is kind of what comes to mind when you talk about your rogue balls and clubs 😛 I was very worried that I’d let go of the club and it would hit someone hard enough to cause damage…

  6. I noticed the MS Ride badge on your blog – my husband does that ride as well! He does the 170 every year, and the company he works for matches his pledges once he raises at least $2,000. So far, I’m happy to say he’s done this for several years. Nice to see someone else who’s involved! 🙂

    I have no golfing tips, miniature golf and driving golf balls are the most I’ve done in the golf field, but I’m sure you’ll have a great time!

    Great to “meet” you!

    • Wow! I’m jealous of his company’s support – I don’t think my company will do that, though likely a few people will donate to my ride. Good luck to your husband on his ride this year! This is my first time doing the ride, and I’m really looking forward to it, though failing a bit at keeping up on the bike training. I’ll be ready by august, though!

      Great to meet you too! Golf was… considerably harder than seeing golf from a distance on tv had led me to believe. But the putting was enough like mini put that it turned out to be lots fo fun.

  7. There’s nothing worse than letting a Groupon expire without using it. I did that once and am still having trouble getting over it.

    • it’s true. I haven’t let that happen quite yet, but I definitely keep an eye on the expiry dates and my dwindling free-time. Luckily, finishing less than 20 of the classes wasn’t such a big deal when each class cost a dollar to do… so, by doing 16 or so, the price per class went up to 1.25, which is still an awesome price for exercise classes. 🙂

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