Luck, Omens and Portents

I went out-of-town for a wedding this weekend.  Standing in the elevator (already running late for the wedding, of course), mentally counting the bing of the elevator as it passed each floor (doesn’t everyone do this?), my thoughts ran something like this:

Hurry up.  Hurry hurry hurry. 

Bing.  Bing.  3.  4.  Bing…

Huh, the bings wouldn’t work to tell a blind person which floor it is, because it only binged 13 times for my floor. 

Oh, never mind, the elevator computer voice is telling me the floor number.  Makes more sense than making people count constantly. 

Hurry, hurry hurry hurry hurry.

Room 1401 – no, not room – a suite!  With a king sized bed I could sleep on any which way, arms overhead, and never touch the edge.  Not only did it have a living room and kitchenette, but the washroom was divided into the toilet-and-shower room, and the mirror-filled sink-room.

I don’t stay in hotels very often, and it’s usually with the whole family packed two to a “queen” (why do they lie so much about sizes?  How is your queen sized bed narrower than my double?), with one on cushions on the floor.  A king sized (actually!) bed, and only one roommate for the night is mind-blowing.

The wedding was… giant.  6’10”, and 6”3, to be specific.  The new Mr. And Mrs. make me look like a small child, standing next to them.  Their wedding colours were orange and blue, which makes me love them all the more.  Congrats to my dear friends, may you live happily ever after, and may your future children not get taller than me until at least the age of 8.

Outside after the wedding and before it rained, a man just happened to be walking his giant blue macaw parrot.  Oddly not the first (or even the second) time in my visits to London in which I have encountered people out and about with their avian buddies.  The only reason I bring it up this time is that this bird matched the wedding party.  I’m sure it’s a sign that the marriage was meant to be, not that there was any doubt.  Or proof that birds of a feather flock together.

Calling it 14 is good luck

like this!

Back in the elevator after the wedding, I realised why there were only 13 bings.  The elevator pad has the Lobby, floor 1, 2, 3… 11, 12, 14.

I have to wonder whether people who have Triskaidekaphobia feel safer on the 13th floor, if it’s called the 14th floor instead?  Does the bad luck really come up to the floor, pause, baffled, and move along?  Perhaps casting a suspicious glare over its shoulder as it goes about its business?  Should I feel luckier that I’m in room 1301 (now that sounds like something out of a Stephen King novel!), disguised as room 1401?  I think they should maybe have added an additional bing in there, just to ensure the bad luck is thoroughly bamboozled.  I’ll leave out the fact that some cultures have a serious hang-up about anything containing the number Four.  Perhaps that bad luck is wilier, and realises that it’s actually the 13th floor.

black cat

“A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.” – Groucho Marx
… a great quote the photographer of this particular shot included in the description!

Apparently some hotels simply choose to leave the 13th floor numbered as is, and fill it with maintenance facilities instead of guests.  Seems like a bad idea to fill a bad-luck cursed floor with ladders and brooms and heavy machinery.  Maybe a better idea than putting a black cat sanctuary in, I suppose.  I slept like a babe, on my full-bed-sized half of the most comfortable bed ever, in room 1301.

Don’t worry about the black cat crossing your path.  He isn’t black.  I’ve decided he’s ombre. Or perhaps, dusky grey. 

Wacky Wednesday

A while back, Tori at the Ramblings invited blogland to send her pictures and messages for her wedding day ribbon wall.  Gwynn and I rose to the occasion, though not quite, I suspect, in the way she was imagining it would go.  My poor dog puts up with far too much from me.

we suited up!

and then we got gussied up

worked on our dance routine…

Gwynn was all set to head to Texas for the wedding!

But then he heard how long he’d be stuck in the car…

Too bad – we got pretty good at the dancing!

Francesco!


This week on Trifecta, the word was

scan·dal noun \ˈskan-dəl\

1 a: discredit brought upon religion by unseemly conduct in a religious person

b: conduct that causes or encourages a lapse of faith or of religious obedience in another
2: loss of or damage to reputation caused by actual or apparent violation of morality or propriety : disgrace
3 a: a circumstance or action that offends propriety or established moral conceptions or disgraces those associated with it

b : a person whose conduct offends propriety or morality <a scandal to the profession>

I was baffled that the definition that would normally occur to me would be the third definition,  but I try not to look gift horses in the mouth.  Seriously – gift me with a horse, and I promise not to look it in the mouth.  I’ll be too busy squealing in delight and riding my horse.

Despite the fact that I didn’t need to write something related to religion (as in the first definition), it was immensely difficult to come up with an idea.  I wrote three different first paragraphs of boring and uninteresting scenes in the Which Witch plotline, along with one in the Necessary plotline.  Not pretty.

I turned to my sister, Doodle, to give me inspiration.  I would have almost thought she was already working on this particular plot, considering how quickly she came up with the idea (once I cleared up that I wanted a suggestion based on scandal, not just a suggestion.), and thought up some plot points for it.

The painting below is by Jenny Dolfen.  Click on the image to see more of her work.  It’s all got a great fantastical feel to it, and this one in particular is done in watercolour, which just blows my mind.  My attempts at watercolour look like a child’s fingerpainting that got soaked in the sink for a few days.  Some people get all the talent.

“Oh, my beloved Francesco!”

The dulcet shrieks of the elegant Lady Alfreda Moretti preceded the clatter of the lady’s slippers as she dashed across the cobbles.

Francesco gaped at the vision before him.

“S-signorina?” he stammered, cap knocked askew as she flung her arms about him.  He feared his secret being revealed.

She held him firmly in place as she showered him with kisses, far stronger than she appeared.

Francesco vaguely recalled having once bowed to the lady during an afternoon spent painting in her father’s beautiful gardens.

Sagging under the lady’s weight, Francesco looked desperately for help.

A nun walking by signed the cross and began uttering prayers.

His fellow apprentice, dubbed “The Fat Francesco”, when Maestro’s suggestion of “The Ugly Francesco” had been deemed too cruel, stared at them, frozen, by the fountain.  The look of horror on the boy’s face did nothing to improve his features.

“Signorina, please, I fear you are mistaken!”

The girl paused in her affections, moving one hand to clutch at his shirt front, fingers tucked into the linen wrapped under his shirt.

“You are Francesco, Maestro Alfeo’s apprentice?”

“Si, but-“

Lady Alfreda beamed with happiness.  “Then there is no mistake.  We made love by the willows on the night of the masque.” Her smile turned coy.  “You kept your mask on, naughty boy.”

She clasped his hands.  “I am with child.  We must beg my father at once to be married or risk scandal and ruin.”

Something of the confusion in Francesco’s eye must have sunk in to the vapid girl’s understanding because she released him warily, taking a step back.

“You compared me to a summers’ day in your poems!”

“Signorina.  That is the Francesco you seek.”

He caught her as she swooned, and passed her to her ill-favoured swain.

“A mask?”

The Fat Francesco shrugged sheepishly.  “Don’t tease me, Francesca.  I could have left you to be married.”

“Now that would have been an awkward wedding night!”

Happily Ever After… and All that Jazz

“She looks just like a Barbie!  Or a princess! Or a Barbie Princess!”

We all agreed, keeping an eye out to ensure that the ‘barbie princess’ hadn’t just heard that description.

Even on her day, her happiest, bestest, ‘all about me’ day… I wouldn’t ever say something like that to her face.  She would totally kick my ass.  Dress and all.  Princess and Barbie are not descriptors that remotely capture what she is.  She isn’t even the blushing bride – she is the bride who runs down the aisle, sweeping her intended along in her wake.

But, in a simple and elegant white dress, a flowing veil and sweeping train, it was true.  That’s why it was spoken on her wedding day, but, because she is herself, even on her wedding day, it was spoken where she couldn’t hear it.

The picture of her on her wedding day will capture a poised, beaming young woman standing next to the man she loves.  He is looking solemn but oh so very happy, standing next to the woman he loves.

What it won’t capture is the girl who gets up in the middle of the night to clean the bathroom when she can’t sleep.

The girl who flopped down on my bed announcing, “I’m bored,” and in doing so, cured me of my boredom for the rest of the afternoon.

When our neighbourhood had a creepy watches-girls-while-they-sleep marauder, she plotted his doom in her most
ominous voice while our other roommate and I cackled in the background.  If anyone ever finds the recording we made of ‘the plan’, or ex-landlord is going to find a police backhoe in his yard and us girls will have all our baseball bats confiscated.  The investigation will be hindered drastically by the lack of baseball bats in any of our ownership.

She is outgoing – an extrovert to the nth degree.  She is the life of the party, all laughter and silliness and ridiculous.  Whatever she does, she does with gusto, and you can’t help but to cheer her on while she does it.

The wedding pictures won’t capture the guy who, while staying at our house in university, had to be told what attire was required upon leaving the washroom.  Suffice to say, the groom has a cute tushie, and I should NOT know that
first-hand.  The towel goes around, not just in front.

He is laid back, easy going, all smiles and jokes and ‘chill’.

It was a formal Catholic wedding, with a mass and readings from the bible.  The bride and groom nudged each other and giggled like school-children throughout the ceremony.

The happy couple released doves on the steps of the cathedral.  They also passed out metallic cowboy hats, tiaras, light-up sunglasses and inflatable guitars at their reception.

The happy couple danced their first dance as man and wife, a slow love song.  Later, they jumped, twisted and shouted in a crowd of friends and family, both wearing little silver tiaras.

The reception had a five course meal, all elegant and delicious.  They left an “OH Henry” bar and a pack of shortbread for each guest – the brands of each item containing the last names of the bride and groom.

Which aspect of their wedding describes them best?  Both, I’d say.

To quote Dave Edmunds – “I knew the bride when she used to rock and roll”… but I doubt this bride will ever stop.

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